The fall season is here. The leaves are changing, it’s
harvesting time, and last but not least, “IT’S COLD”. What exactly does this
mean? Well it’s about that time…CUFFING SEASON is finally here. And though some
of y’all don’t know what that truly is, basically it means being in a
short-term relationship during the months between late September and the
Summer. Although those are the main months of getting into a relationship, it
also includes the summer on different aspects. Here’s where we draw the line,
are the feelings even mutual? Or are the seasons determining your
relationships? Our feelings for other people can cause us to go through phases
in which I can’t explain so broadly but I hope to get the logistics of it.
“Cuffing season” is a term that is widely known as “During the Fall and Winter months people who
would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the
rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious
relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to
become lonely and desperate to be cuffed”. Many times if you look at social media sources, you will see a lot
of statuses that reads and hints a person wanting a significant other or those
who are single still wanting to mingle. For example,
o
The “Cuddle-Buddy” application will appear on
tumblr and Facebook once around this time of the year.
o
Statuses on Twitter that quotes “I’m in need of
a cuddling partner for cold nights like these.”
So where does it all begin and how does it all start? From
my perspective, it starts right when school begins. Sometimes during the summer
usually depending on the situation people are. Take for example early
September.
Early September is when we the environment is brand new.
Summer has ended, and school has started. Around this time, many people will
look their absolute best AKA “Dress to Impress”. In both worlds, Men will
utilize this time to look out in who to try to hook-up with. Never will the man
pick and choose quickly, however, around the first few weeks is more of getting
to know that person. A short term on that perspective is called “Draft season”
Men, just know that there will be other guys wanting that exact same girl you
look at. So here are two options…
A.
Have options and another plan B,
or
B.
Step up to the plate and make your move
By mid-September, the text message exchanges will start to
begin. Once you start exchanging messages, we start to set up hang-out times
and dates.
Now comes October. Around this time of the month, is when
the cold air changes. This is when the single ladies are out looking for that
guy to be around with. Coffee dates, mid-term study dates, formal party dates,
and much more. Men on the other hand, is where it officially begins. If you now
are in a relationship, congratulations you have made the top spot on the guy’s
November can be a slightly hectic but most of the time it’s
not. The only reason why November can throw things on the edge is because it is
thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the time of the year where we begin to meet the
family. The problem is, suppose you bring this person to meet your family.
Everyone knows that once you meet the family, it’s real. Once you meet the
family, consider yourself being asked with many questions regarding the
relationship, your life, and everything else. Don’t forget that once you are in
a relationship with one person, you are in the relationship of the entire
family…It’s sort of like marriage. Ask yourself, are you sure your partner is
ready to meet the family? Seems like you haven’t built enough time in the world
to do so. I wouldn’t recommend it just yet. But that’s to your own risk.
Now these next three months deal with two things… the
holidays and cuddling.
My ideal of a perfect night with someone of course is a
movie, cuddling, and a nightcap after a Christmas Party (Drink-Hot Tea, Coffee,
Hot chocolate etc.) How romantic is that? Sometimes good holiday music can even
brighten up the whole mood with a little bit of Nat King Cole. Can’t get much better
than that can it? Now around this time, everyone knows that you two are
officially a couple. The pictures show up on Facebook, Instagram, and everyone
adores it. Which technically isn’t bad, but now we have to figure out gifts and
spending. Dear men, I’m not saying you have to be cheap about what you get for
the holidays, but just learn to know what’s valuable, what’s ideal, and what’s
the message you’re trying to show your girl as a perfect gift. I always say that the holiday season, you can
buy whatever you want. Now flash forward past January all the way to February,
and Valentine’s day is right around the corner. Dear couples, does it really take ONE holiday
to show how much you are in love with that person? You can go ahead and do your
usual thing, but realize this, if you are spending something on your partner,
don’t be over expensive about it. Men, don’t buy super expensive stuff such as
a $300 diamond ring engraved “forever” with the dates of when you two met.
That’s also moving a bit fast. Flowers, I’ll recommend it. Clothes? Hmmm
maybe!! Chocolate? Certainly. Now I’m not saying don’t buy her jewelry, but
don’t buy jewelry with written promises. Jewelry may feel that you’re trying to
commit early. Also, how strong is your love at this point? Is three months long
enough for you to buy expensive gifts and consider it a great lasting
relationship? A lot of times we let gifts feel how lucky we are with that
person.
Spring and Summer:
Break-up or Make-up Season
As winter season comes to an end, brace yourself for
break-up season. Spring is finally here!! It’s about that time for men to put
on the shorts, and the ladies to get ready for bikini season. Now that it’s hot
outside, we venture out on the activities we missed over the pass few months.
This is the time of the year where break-ups begin to happen and when some
relationships start (mostly for a short period of time). Due to the fact that
it is spring time, most people feel that they no longer need to be in a
relationship. Yes things do come up, and sometimes we are going to have to
accept it. Some of us don’t want the break-up, and some of people say they are
just not ready (Hence why it’s called
cuffing SEASON). Some folks become
single during the summer months, so if you gotten past march, best of luck. Now since there are folks who are single, it’s
back to square one of going out to parties, hanging out with friends, and doing
the stuff of your enjoyment. However, as soon as the summer months come around (Late
May/ Early June), somebody will be in a relationship. I call this the “Alternate cuffing season”. Sometimes it
could be that “friend” who was closest to you through the past year, or it
could be that one person who crossed your mind that you want to hang out with.
Relationships happen can happen on different reasons. For example, we’re out of
school, some of us have summer jobs, and also summer time is where to have fun
and hang out with a lot of friends. We allow this time to hang out with someone
for a good period of our free time. Typically, a summer relationship is usually
spending time with your partner, family, and friends all at the same time. The
usual summer activities can include but not limited to, a sports date (Soccer,
baseball, etc.), Summer concerts, movies, beach, fishing, camping, and star
gazing….Dang that all sounds fun. But truthfully, relationships happen around
this time because you’re bored, and have nothing else to do.
So the moral of cuffing season is, if you find yourself in
this love cycle, you better hope for the best and the worst.
Are the feelings even mutual? Or is the seasons determining
your relationships?
Now allow me to explain what a phase is. I always say that a phase is nothing but short-term feelings towards
someone. If the feelings are in the mind and not the heart, you are currently
going through a phase. If the feelings are based upon how someone looks, you
are going through a phase. Many of us have all went through a phase in our
lives before. For example,
Let’s say you are in school, and the most popular girl in
the school that everyone talks about is single.
We all know that any guy would take a risk and a chance to ask this girl
out. Now in your mind “men” you are saying to yourself “Holy crap she is
fine”…. So we all know that this girl is “fine” but the real question is this
“Is she worthy?”. There are times we see
other people and we think about wanting to go out with this person. But without
the slightest idea of how her “character” is as a “person” we look at beauty
first (head), and status second. Status,
is a term basically meaning-
A. How much
attention does he/she get.
B. Does
he/she fit the popularity level of the pyramid?
Let’s say you “love” her…. Is it really love? Do you want to
commit and wife her up? If you say you “love” her but don’t have any back up
reasons to support “why” you love her without getting to know someone first,
it’s a phase.
Be smart about the game. Relationships are like a sport and
both men and women can use tactics on how to get someone good. Don’t end up in
the short-term relationship. If you really want that person, step up and claim
that person. If you want to break-up with someone, ask yourself, why?, and also
ask yourself “why did I decided to go out with this person in the first place?
how much did it take me to accomplish the goal of having this person be someone
in my life?.
If the relationship lasts less than a year, it’s considered
a short-term relationship. If it last longer
than a year but less than 3….Evaluate yourself and the relationship. What were
the good reasons?, and what were the bad reasons?.
Also think about this….Be careful who you end up with, because
you do NOT want to end up in a situation that you can’t get yourself out of.
Be Careful.
Be Mindful.
Be Smart.
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