Dealing With Clingy Relationships

Often times in Relationships, we as partners tend to get too attached to the new person in our life. We get very caught up in being in a relationship, that we forget HOW it’s all suppose to work out. Why do I say how? Because there comes a time in our lives where we will get clingy in the relationship. Most of the time, it’s the females who are most clingy, but I say it can happen to anyone male or female. The moment you start developing those feelings towards one another, is the moment you start to become very attached. The moment you become very attached, you’re slowly developing the symptoms of clinginess. One thing about clingy partners is that they draw us away from that person. There are numerous ways in which it’s a possibility of showing the signs. Perhaps having the fear of letting go of someone is one thing. Another, is when a relationship sparks, we start narrowing our life around “The Relationship”. Clingy is very unhealthy, so you must start to develop ways to make your relationship a lot more healthy. We need to start off with our behavior. Behavior can somehow in someway get slightly off track One thing is this, when we are in a Relationship, we have the idea to show off to the entire world our affection. That affection includes holding hands, hugging, kissing, and other forms of PDA, which technically it isn’t bad, but how often are you doing it? Are you doing it to the point where it’s non-stop and making others around you uncomfortable?  Behavior is the biggest reason why most people don’t like clingy partners. Consider asking yourself these questions.

                  -How often do you get worried about your partner?

                  -How often do you call?

                  -Can you not go a day without seeing him/her?

                  -How often do you pressure your partner with questions and concerns?

                  -Does it bother you when other people are talking to your partner making it feel as if you are singled out?

These things will make our behavior, trust, and confidence crash into each other. Now to break this down,

Trust, Anxiety, and Being insecure: Rule number one is don’t be insecure about yourself. So maybe you’ve had bad relationships in the past that broke your heart. But you must meet new relationships on new terms and not let the past decide what’s best. Trust; you’re worried that your partner will leave you to find someone else, or cheat on you…. If you’re worried to that extent, and your partner has no reasons why he/she would leave or cheat on you, you are leaving your partner hostage when it comes to those situations. That’s a bad problem that needs to be fixed. You must allow your mind to overcome. Thinking that way will cause you to want to spend every waking moment with your partner…. Unless you’re married, you are holding them in hostage. By hostage, I mean no space, checking the partner’s every move, phone, etc. Last thing is this, ladies if your man is with his buddies, DO NOT get involved with the guys’ conversation. What men talk about is private with the men. Men, that’s vice versa on us as well.

Friendships: It’s often true that when people get into a relationship, sooner or later the circle of friends will start to decrease. Why does this happen? Because your main focus is on the new person in your life. This is pretty normal because, now you have to find time to put them in your schedule for many activities going on. However, focus on balancing out times with both your friends AND your partner. You have to make sure that you’re not neglecting them for good because, what happens if a relationship ends? Then you have nobody to talk to. Other times, you won’t be able to have that bond of friendship with someone.

Couple management: While you focus so much on being around that person, you must develop yourself to be independent with yourself. A relationship can be hectic at times, but here’s what you have to do, don’t focus on the person in your life so much that everything evolves around them. Don’t be so tied in the relationship that everything you do has to please or include the other person to the extreme. Everywhere you go, and everything you do doesn’t mean you have to do stuff together ALL OF THE TIME. If you can’t go places such as shopping, recreational places, gatherings, errands, or a party, that’s a huge problem. One of the ways to stop being clingy is to branch out of your comfort zone and do things on your own, and things that excite you. Pursue goals, get involve in other activities, find ways to satisfy yourself such as a hobby. By doing so, you will be focused on new interactions, your own interests, goals, and especially yourself. Give yourself space, allow your partner to have space, and pursue what you want to do in life. Make plans for your own from time to time and live independently. A relationship doesn’t mean your independent life is over. Learn to be alone and have some “Me” Time.

So those are the main points I want to get across. Just remember in order to have a healthy relationship, it relies fully on our-selves. We can resolve the situation much easier by improving us.

Separate yourself, give space, learn to live in your own world and pursue your interests.

Never invite yourself to anything without your partner’s approval.

Clinginess in a relationship is unhealthy due to the fact you’re being taken for granted by the other person. The overall point is to not be a needy person to your partner in ways you are being “nurtured” in the relationship. So in all cases, analyze yourself, your behavior, be observant, and know you and your partner’s boundaries.