Asking A Woman On A Date: For Men

Throughout centuries, the most asked question is asking a woman on a date. Many men can be successful, and there are others who are unsuccessful.  So men, there’s that lady you’ve been staring and thinking about for quite sometime. Now is your time to make a move. Let’s look at this on two scenarios.

A.) You’re her friend, you’ve known each other for quite sometime, you both work at the same office, and she’s single. You want to make a move, but you’re afraid that she’s keeping you in “The Friend-zone”.

B.) Let’s say for instance you’re at the coffee shop every morning enjoying down time with yourself, and every morning that female stops by to get her coffee before going to work. You don’t know much about her, yet you see her everyday.  But you want to get to know more about this person.

Men stuck in scenario A

Men, I recommend that you be yourself, but elevate yourself. She knows about you based on working in the office, and the conversations you have with daily. You are now in the position to where you are going to show off the “social” side of your life. What you need to remember is separate your business side from your personal side. What you do on a date and behind closed doors should always be between you and her only. Ask your friend in the office what her interests are, and eventually ask her about doing those things together. If she wants to hang out on both of your guys free time, I would recommend something small like lunch, movie, outing at the park, or a play. You want to start small at those areas. Now try doing that for a good couple of weeks, and then be confident in asking her to dinner. One thing to be careful with is to not speed the process. In other words, do not pop out saying you’ve been holding feelings in for her. That’s a huge mistake, and she will take it the wrong way. Why? She may not be interested in you, or see you on that level yet. You want to continue to spend quality time with each other so that she can grow and accept her personal interest in you. So now, the best thing to do is to go up and ask her. Remember you have the confidence in yourself, and you’re always approaching her at her level. You’ve been doing this for so long, why would she say no? you’re friends and co-workers right? Have Faith

Men stuck in scenario B

Approach: How do you approach a woman? Remember you want her first impression to be the RIGHT impression, and by the right impression, you want it to be a lasting impression. When you approach a lady, you must have the confidence inside yourself. So let’s start with a plan. Are you confident enough in yourself? You want to first start off by having small conversations. When you have conversations, you must keep it on small terms of the environment around you. Pay for her coffee, ask her what book she’s reading and talk about what is going on within the book. If you talk more about that, it can really get a conversation going. This will also bring out your intelligence level. Women like to see a man with intelligence, especially if his intelligence level matches her intelligence level and interest. So remember to “Just talk” on good terms before you start to talk about the big things in life (in which I will discuss later). Don’t go jumping into detail about talking how beautiful she looks, or saying you’ve been watching her for a while. From experience, here is an analogy to learn from. A lion sees its prey lurking around, eventually the lion will watch it, and eventually comes to attack its prey. Now that the prey knows its in danger, it will run away. Compare yourself to that lion. Do NOT scare the woman away. You’ve seen her, but don’t jump in to quick. That will eventually scare the lady away. You want to ease up on situations with small talks. Okay so it has been about a good three weeks, maybe even more. You both have spent every morning socializing and drinking coffee, and now you want to take it up to the next level. My best take on asking her on a date is first ask her what her schedule is like, and say “WOULD YOU LIKE TO go out for dinner sometime?”.  The lady might say “sure, I would like that!”, or she might be somewhat hesitant in her answer. If she’s hesitant, don’t pressure her. Just leave it as it is, and continue on with socializing. It is what it is, but look what you have established and accomplished. I can tell you one thing, from experience, not every lady is going to be interested or act interested. But there are always times when it may happen. Don’t blow it off on one chance. But let’s just say she has accepted the offer. Set up a time when she is free, ask her what her choice of food preferences are (Italian, Thai, French, American, Seafood etc..), and now plan it all out. You do the planning, and let your date sit back and enjoy herself.

Date Night

So you’ve asked her out on a date, and today is the day of your date. Perhaps it’s a romantic date, or a casual date. Either way, you want to make this the best and most memorable moment of both of your lives. Our appearance is absolutely the number one thing a woman will see in us. Keep in mind that she might THINK she knows your style after seeing each other everyday, but go above and beyond.

Appearance: Always look presentable to the lady you are asking. Whether you are asking her on a date, or you’re on the date itself. Look nice, dress to impress. You don’t have to go all out in $200 clothing(unless that’s your style or depending on the date, it’s fine), However, I would best recommend a buttoned collar shirt, nice slacks, or maybe even a suit of your choice. Hair nicely cut and trimmed. Facial Hair; some ladies may not be attracted to facial hair, some ladies are. So always make sure you double check on the facial hair. Please check your hygiene. Hygiene is the most important factor that will attract the woman. Nose cleaned, ears cleaned, teeth cleaned(always have a tooth pick handy), good smelling breath, deodorant, and some sort of a good fragrance. One thing to realize is not all women are immune to strong cologne and fragrances, so don’t ever put too much on. Less is always more.

Conversation: Keeping the momentum going

What’s the best way to get things going in the right direction? Conversations. Men, we are the ones that have to keep up the momentum. Always have conversation starters and questions to ask your date. Complimenting will put your date in a comforting mood in which can also lead to many further talking. Men in scenario B, NOW is your chance to ask questions in getting to know more about that person you are with. If you’re at a restaurant, ask about their favorite food and drink interest, hobbies, music, movie interests, and current events that are going on. I’m not saying you have to pressure with questions, but you want to keep the talking going back and forth. The one thing we get so hyped about is talking more about ourselves rather than letting the woman speak. That is another rule MEN, NO BRAGGING. Eventually, the lady will catch on, and she will find many interests in you. Don’t bring about someone’s past because you never know how sensitive that person really is. Don’t lie about yourself just to interest even more.

Etiquette: The number one impression that is an attraction to everyone is etiquette. I’m not going to give a whole lesson on etiquette as far as table manners, but for starters, do the basic following procedures during the date.

·      Make sure you open and hold the door for your date.

·      Study your table manners, and etiquette skills.

·      Make sure you show good body language.

·      Help her with her jacket.

·      Properly seat your date.

·      Use words like please, thank you, yes, and no

·      Don’t yawn with your mouth open.

·      Chew your food, don’t talk with food in your mouth, and don’t smack your food.

·      Keep your voice at a minimum, and don’t be loud.

·      Never lie about yourself(No lady likes or wants a liar)

·      Always carry a handkerchief around you at all times.

·      Help your date with her things(holding her bag, watching her stuff etc.)

·      Ask her how her food is, and maybe let her try some of your food.

·      Last but not least ALWAYS STAY ON TOP OF THE TIME.

If things ever go wrong, you should ALWAYS have a Plan B in mind. Even before planning this date, what are your options.

The Ending.

When the date is over, and all activities are done with, walk up with her to the door of her house. Don’t ask or invite yourself to come in her house unless she invites you in. Remember, the date may have been good, but she may still be unsure about letting you inside her house. After all, it’s only the first date and nothing is “official”. So in other words, don’t plan on making ANY type of move. A hug is great. However, she MIGHT go for a kiss on a the cheek and say “I had a lovely time”. Remember, this night is about her. You just remember that you have done your part all along and have played it well.  You want not only yourself to be satisfied but overall, you want “her” to be satisfied. Eventually, it may happen again. She might call you up sometime. Remember to not take anything fast. Take it all nice and slow. Eventually who knows. It may become official soon.

Final thought

Oh on another note men, you also want to check out a woman’s hand. The way I see it is if she has a ring of some sort on her ring finer(especially a diamond ring), do not push it. Remember a ring could symbolize commitment.