Phases, Short-Term Relationships, and Cuffing Season:

The fall season is here. The leaves are changing, it’s harvesting time, and last but not least, “IT’S COLD”. What exactly does this mean? Well it’s about that time…CUFFING SEASON is finally here. And though some of y’all don’t know what that truly is, basically it means being in a short-term relationship during the months between late September and the Summer. Although those are the main months of getting into a relationship, it also includes the summer on different aspects. Here’s where we draw the line, are the feelings even mutual? Or are the seasons determining your relationships? Our feelings for other people can cause us to go through phases in which I can’t explain so broadly but I hope to get the logistics of it.

 “Cuffing season” is a term that is widely known as “During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed”. Many times if you look at social media sources, you will see a lot of statuses that reads and hints a person wanting a significant other or those who are single still wanting to mingle. For example,

o   The “Cuddle-Buddy” application will appear on tumblr and Facebook once around this time of the year.

o   Statuses on Twitter that quotes “I’m in need of a cuddling partner for cold nights like these.”

So where does it all begin and how does it all start? From my perspective, it starts right when school begins. Sometimes during the summer usually depending on the situation people are. Take for example early September.

Early September is when we the environment is brand new. Summer has ended, and school has started. Around this time, many people will look their absolute best AKA “Dress to Impress”. In both worlds, Men will utilize this time to look out in who to try to hook-up with. Never will the man pick and choose quickly, however, around the first few weeks is more of getting to know that person. A short term on that perspective is called “Draft season” Men, just know that there will be other guys wanting that exact same girl you look at. So here are two options…

A.    Have options and another plan B,

 or

B.    Step up to the plate and make your move

By mid-September, the text message exchanges will start to begin. Once you start exchanging messages, we start to set up hang-out times and dates.

Now comes October. Around this time of the month, is when the cold air changes. This is when the single ladies are out looking for that guy to be around with. Coffee dates, mid-term study dates, formal party dates, and much more. Men on the other hand, is where it officially begins. If you now are in a relationship, congratulations you have made the top spot on the guy’s

November can be a slightly hectic but most of the time it’s not. The only reason why November can throw things on the edge is because it is thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the time of the year where we begin to meet the family. The problem is, suppose you bring this person to meet your family. Everyone knows that once you meet the family, it’s real. Once you meet the family, consider yourself being asked with many questions regarding the relationship, your life, and everything else. Don’t forget that once you are in a relationship with one person, you are in the relationship of the entire family…It’s sort of like marriage. Ask yourself, are you sure your partner is ready to meet the family? Seems like you haven’t built enough time in the world to do so. I wouldn’t recommend it just yet. But that’s to your own risk.

Now these next three months deal with two things… the holidays and cuddling.

My ideal of a perfect night with someone of course is a movie, cuddling, and a nightcap after a Christmas Party (Drink-Hot Tea, Coffee, Hot chocolate etc.) How romantic is that? Sometimes good holiday music can even brighten up the whole mood with a little bit of Nat King Cole. Can’t get much better than that can it? Now around this time, everyone knows that you two are officially a couple. The pictures show up on Facebook, Instagram, and everyone adores it. Which technically isn’t bad, but now we have to figure out gifts and spending. Dear men, I’m not saying you have to be cheap about what you get for the holidays, but just learn to know what’s valuable, what’s ideal, and what’s the message you’re trying to show your girl as a perfect gift.  I always say that the holiday season, you can buy whatever you want. Now flash forward past January all the way to February, and Valentine’s day is right around the corner.  Dear couples, does it really take ONE holiday to show how much you are in love with that person? You can go ahead and do your usual thing, but realize this, if you are spending something on your partner, don’t be over expensive about it. Men, don’t buy super expensive stuff such as a $300 diamond ring engraved “forever” with the dates of when you two met. That’s also moving a bit fast. Flowers, I’ll recommend it. Clothes? Hmmm maybe!! Chocolate? Certainly. Now I’m not saying don’t buy her jewelry, but don’t buy jewelry with written promises. Jewelry may feel that you’re trying to commit early. Also, how strong is your love at this point? Is three months long enough for you to buy expensive gifts and consider it a great lasting relationship? A lot of times we let gifts feel how lucky we are with that person.

Spring and Summer: Break-up or Make-up Season

As winter season comes to an end, brace yourself for break-up season. Spring is finally here!! It’s about that time for men to put on the shorts, and the ladies to get ready for bikini season. Now that it’s hot outside, we venture out on the activities we missed over the pass few months. This is the time of the year where break-ups begin to happen and when some relationships start (mostly for a short period of time). Due to the fact that it is spring time, most people feel that they no longer need to be in a relationship. Yes things do come up, and sometimes we are going to have to accept it. Some of us don’t want the break-up, and some of people say they are just not ready (Hence why it’s called cuffing SEASON).  Some folks become single during the summer months, so if you gotten past march, best of luck.  Now since there are folks who are single, it’s back to square one of going out to parties, hanging out with friends, and doing the stuff of your enjoyment. However, as soon as the summer months come around (Late May/ Early June), somebody will be in a relationship. I call this the “Alternate cuffing season”. Sometimes it could be that “friend” who was closest to you through the past year, or it could be that one person who crossed your mind that you want to hang out with. Relationships happen can happen on different reasons. For example, we’re out of school, some of us have summer jobs, and also summer time is where to have fun and hang out with a lot of friends. We allow this time to hang out with someone for a good period of our free time. Typically, a summer relationship is usually spending time with your partner, family, and friends all at the same time. The usual summer activities can include but not limited to, a sports date (Soccer, baseball, etc.), Summer concerts, movies, beach, fishing, camping, and star gazing….Dang that all sounds fun. But truthfully, relationships happen around this time because you’re bored, and have nothing else to do.

So the moral of cuffing season is, if you find yourself in this love cycle, you better hope for the best and the worst. 

Are the feelings even mutual? Or is the seasons determining your relationships?

Now allow me to explain what a phase is. I always say that a phase is nothing but short-term feelings towards someone. If the feelings are in the mind and not the heart, you are currently going through a phase. If the feelings are based upon how someone looks, you are going through a phase. Many of us have all went through a phase in our lives before. For example,

Let’s say you are in school, and the most popular girl in the school that everyone talks about is single.  We all know that any guy would take a risk and a chance to ask this girl out. Now in your mind “men” you are saying to yourself “Holy crap she is fine”…. So we all know that this girl is “fine” but the real question is this “Is she worthy?”.  There are times we see other people and we think about wanting to go out with this person. But without the slightest idea of how her “character” is as a “person” we look at beauty first (head), and status second. Status, is a term basically meaning-

            A. How much attention does he/she get.

            B. Does he/she fit the popularity level of the pyramid?

Let’s say you “love” her…. Is it really love? Do you want to commit and wife her up? If you say you “love” her but don’t have any back up reasons to support “why” you love her without getting to know someone first, it’s a phase. 

Be smart about the game. Relationships are like a sport and both men and women can use tactics on how to get someone good. Don’t end up in the short-term relationship. If you really want that person, step up and claim that person. If you want to break-up with someone, ask yourself, why?, and also ask yourself “why did I decided to go out with this person in the first place? how much did it take me to accomplish the goal of having this person be someone in my life?.

If the relationship lasts less than a year, it’s considered a short-term relationship. If  it last longer than a year but less than 3….Evaluate yourself and the relationship. What were the good reasons?, and what were the bad reasons?.

Also think about this….Be careful who you end up with, because you do NOT want to end up in a situation that you can’t get yourself out of.

Be Careful.

Be Mindful.

Be Smart.

The Path To Success

There are times where we have to strive to become successful, and there are also those who have the gift and talent that makes them become successful. Whether you have the talent or work ethic, know that in due time it will all unfold in the very end.  As a future educator, one of the things I look at in a student is their ability to process learning techniques. For instance, how does this student know the information taught in class? What does he or she do outside of the classroom to prepare?

People look at being successful as working hard to reach for it. In other words, this is the point where we have to work hard just to get to the point we are going to.  The first thing to look at is our self.

Three key points to ask yourself,

             What can I handle?

             What can I not handle?

             Do I have the potential in us to accomplish something?

What we need to realize is that everyone is different. We have our own strengths and weaknesses, and sometimes we can’t be at everyone’s level.  What we need to do is not focus on what other people will say. Yes there will be people on a higher pedestal who will judge you based on your level, and there are those who will envy you.

The Journey

The process of working your way to success has to start off slow with small goals that are able to be met. Take the word “Success” and illustrate it as a story path diagram in your head. Imagine that you know what you are doing, you know where you are going, but you are also blind folded. As you’re walking down the path, you know there are people standing on both sides telling you what to do. Those people are either there to guide you, or they are there to see you fail. When you are walking down the path, you will fall into ditches and puddles. Now take ditches and puddles as obstacles.  You fall into ditch number one, someone warned you that a ditch was coming, but failed to say when. However, you kept walking but you fail downward [notice I meant that word as a homophone]. Okay so you realized you have made a mistake, and you feel like you failed at something that seem very easy. These people will put you down for it, but a way to help yourself is to get back up and try again. As you continue to walk, the tears will come down, but someone walks beside you to say “keep waking, I am here if you need me”. Even though people will laugh at your humiliation for not doing the simplest thing, there is always that one who sees your pain, and will encourage you. The best thing you’ve done was got back up, and continued walking. So as you are walking along, the person beside you whispers “You are coming into another puddle”. The person warns you, but you took the initiative to stop, think, bended down, and crawled just to find the ditch. The more you crawl, the dirty your clothes become. This is how you help yourself with the guided support. But realize when you work your way through something, it’s not always easy at it seems. Sometimes you have to get dirty in doing work. So eventually you have founded the puddle, and you crawl around it. Congratulations, you have completed your first goal. Would you consider this a success? Absolutely. As you continue forward to success, there will be small successful points below the bigger prize. Each success point builds on top of each other that will lead to greater success. So now as you are continuing to walk, two people are jogging beside you. They see that you are walking down the path, but they feel as if you aren’t moving fast enough. One is pressuring you to speed up your pace to a easy jog, the other is pressuring force mentally. Both are pressuring you to keep going, but the more they pressure you, the harder it may seem. Are they pressuring to push you further? Or are they pressuring your success ability? Realize that there will be someone willing to motivate you assertively, and someone to motivate you by attacking your level. Your success level should never match someone else’s success level. Also, NOW is the time to move quickly, be motivated, but only at your own pace. Keep them in mind, but block the second out at the same time. So let’s refer back to the first person who helped you out(voice of faith). That person has never left you, but the other two people( voice of assertive motivation & voice of higher success) are now with you. You are pushing yourself which is a good thing, but the voice of higher success says “you can’t do it, and you will never reach it to the end.  Yep, it’s going to happen. People of a higher success level will look at your potential, and will doubt that you can’t make it due to your will power. Does it make you upset and bring you down? Yes. Should you stop? NEVER. Keep going. So you are jogging at this point. The voice of higher success is now far ahead. But the other two people are still with you. You start to hear more people cheering you on… Keep going. People will cheer for you, and stand with you. They see your success, and they would love to see you going. Acknowledge them, be genuine and thankful for their support, but don’t trust EVERYONE cheering you on. remember you are doing it for yourself. Don’t get caught up in trying to please others but yourself, because someone in the crowd will cheer  you on the outside, but inside still might contain a little envy. So now you have jogged to a point in where you are getting a little bit tired, but you still want to push through. It’s a great thing, push yourself but now is a time to rest, enjoy your success, re-evaluate, and plan ahead. You never know when your next obstacle may come, so prepare yourself. Some people will overshoot to aim for success and not rest, re-evaluate, and plan. It works for some people, but not for everyone. Without doing so, you will add more stress on yourself. Do what’s best for you. Alright, so you’re done resting. Now it’s time to get back on the path and run some more. You are still ahead with the voice of faith, and voice of assertive motivation beside you. The other people cheering you on is behind you and beside you, but not in front. You’re getting ahead. You are catching up quickly to the prize. Now as time goes by, you come to another obstacle. As you run down the path, you come to a river with a broken bridge. What’s next to come? The people behind you say “There’s no way we can do it, we just have to go back”, and leaves. Remember, what ever you do, not everyone is going to support you 100% of the time, and not everyone is going to help you.  This is all determined on what you accomplish, and how you are going to accomplish. The only people with you are the two voices, and maybe a select group of people from behind who are willing to help you push through. As you are blind folded, you’re unsure on how to overcome this situation. Your first bet is to give up. But both voices says “There’s a way, you’ve got the skills around you, now let’s use it together”. So this is the point in where you think it’s the end of the world, and you want to give up and quit. You will always face a big obstacle before reaching a prize. Remember when I mentioned “plan ahead, and prepare?” Now you have to work hard and apply it to use. So as you are still blind folded, you have now came up with a plan on how to cross. All you had all along was Faith, and Motivation to push you through. It’s hard, but when there’s a will, there’s a way. So as you crossed the river using only yourself to get through(plus others), notice how uneasy it was?  But now you are back on the land of your path. Finally, you run faster because you can feel the motivation and hard work progress. The two voices says “take off your blind fold, and look back” The minute you look back, you will realize that everything is now in the past. If you can get through those, you can go through more obstacles to tackle-Count Your Blessings. You are now at the point where you are almost at your reaching point. A few more steps, and you are there. Do you see how much of a journey it was?

Basically, you have to work through things in order to achieve the success. Overall it takes YOU physically , but mentally, it takes a team of “Faith, Motivation, and Passion” to get where you are going. Supporters will always be there for you, and others will bring you down. This is one thing that we will all go through it until the day we die. So go out and begin your journey. Overcome the small challenges first, avoid those who bring you down and tell you different, and continue to press forward. Work hard and never give up. If you are those who have the talent of success, do a great favor and help others achieve their success.

Asking A Woman On A Date: For Men

Throughout centuries, the most asked question is asking a woman on a date. Many men can be successful, and there are others who are unsuccessful.  So men, there’s that lady you’ve been staring and thinking about for quite sometime. Now is your time to make a move. Let’s look at this on two scenarios.

A.) You’re her friend, you’ve known each other for quite sometime, you both work at the same office, and she’s single. You want to make a move, but you’re afraid that she’s keeping you in “The Friend-zone”.

B.) Let’s say for instance you’re at the coffee shop every morning enjoying down time with yourself, and every morning that female stops by to get her coffee before going to work. You don’t know much about her, yet you see her everyday.  But you want to get to know more about this person.

Men stuck in scenario A

Men, I recommend that you be yourself, but elevate yourself. She knows about you based on working in the office, and the conversations you have with daily. You are now in the position to where you are going to show off the “social” side of your life. What you need to remember is separate your business side from your personal side. What you do on a date and behind closed doors should always be between you and her only. Ask your friend in the office what her interests are, and eventually ask her about doing those things together. If she wants to hang out on both of your guys free time, I would recommend something small like lunch, movie, outing at the park, or a play. You want to start small at those areas. Now try doing that for a good couple of weeks, and then be confident in asking her to dinner. One thing to be careful with is to not speed the process. In other words, do not pop out saying you’ve been holding feelings in for her. That’s a huge mistake, and she will take it the wrong way. Why? She may not be interested in you, or see you on that level yet. You want to continue to spend quality time with each other so that she can grow and accept her personal interest in you. So now, the best thing to do is to go up and ask her. Remember you have the confidence in yourself, and you’re always approaching her at her level. You’ve been doing this for so long, why would she say no? you’re friends and co-workers right? Have Faith

Men stuck in scenario B

Approach: How do you approach a woman? Remember you want her first impression to be the RIGHT impression, and by the right impression, you want it to be a lasting impression. When you approach a lady, you must have the confidence inside yourself. So let’s start with a plan. Are you confident enough in yourself? You want to first start off by having small conversations. When you have conversations, you must keep it on small terms of the environment around you. Pay for her coffee, ask her what book she’s reading and talk about what is going on within the book. If you talk more about that, it can really get a conversation going. This will also bring out your intelligence level. Women like to see a man with intelligence, especially if his intelligence level matches her intelligence level and interest. So remember to “Just talk” on good terms before you start to talk about the big things in life (in which I will discuss later). Don’t go jumping into detail about talking how beautiful she looks, or saying you’ve been watching her for a while. From experience, here is an analogy to learn from. A lion sees its prey lurking around, eventually the lion will watch it, and eventually comes to attack its prey. Now that the prey knows its in danger, it will run away. Compare yourself to that lion. Do NOT scare the woman away. You’ve seen her, but don’t jump in to quick. That will eventually scare the lady away. You want to ease up on situations with small talks. Okay so it has been about a good three weeks, maybe even more. You both have spent every morning socializing and drinking coffee, and now you want to take it up to the next level. My best take on asking her on a date is first ask her what her schedule is like, and say “WOULD YOU LIKE TO go out for dinner sometime?”.  The lady might say “sure, I would like that!”, or she might be somewhat hesitant in her answer. If she’s hesitant, don’t pressure her. Just leave it as it is, and continue on with socializing. It is what it is, but look what you have established and accomplished. I can tell you one thing, from experience, not every lady is going to be interested or act interested. But there are always times when it may happen. Don’t blow it off on one chance. But let’s just say she has accepted the offer. Set up a time when she is free, ask her what her choice of food preferences are (Italian, Thai, French, American, Seafood etc..), and now plan it all out. You do the planning, and let your date sit back and enjoy herself.

Date Night

So you’ve asked her out on a date, and today is the day of your date. Perhaps it’s a romantic date, or a casual date. Either way, you want to make this the best and most memorable moment of both of your lives. Our appearance is absolutely the number one thing a woman will see in us. Keep in mind that she might THINK she knows your style after seeing each other everyday, but go above and beyond.

Appearance: Always look presentable to the lady you are asking. Whether you are asking her on a date, or you’re on the date itself. Look nice, dress to impress. You don’t have to go all out in $200 clothing(unless that’s your style or depending on the date, it’s fine), However, I would best recommend a buttoned collar shirt, nice slacks, or maybe even a suit of your choice. Hair nicely cut and trimmed. Facial Hair; some ladies may not be attracted to facial hair, some ladies are. So always make sure you double check on the facial hair. Please check your hygiene. Hygiene is the most important factor that will attract the woman. Nose cleaned, ears cleaned, teeth cleaned(always have a tooth pick handy), good smelling breath, deodorant, and some sort of a good fragrance. One thing to realize is not all women are immune to strong cologne and fragrances, so don’t ever put too much on. Less is always more.

Conversation: Keeping the momentum going

What’s the best way to get things going in the right direction? Conversations. Men, we are the ones that have to keep up the momentum. Always have conversation starters and questions to ask your date. Complimenting will put your date in a comforting mood in which can also lead to many further talking. Men in scenario B, NOW is your chance to ask questions in getting to know more about that person you are with. If you’re at a restaurant, ask about their favorite food and drink interest, hobbies, music, movie interests, and current events that are going on. I’m not saying you have to pressure with questions, but you want to keep the talking going back and forth. The one thing we get so hyped about is talking more about ourselves rather than letting the woman speak. That is another rule MEN, NO BRAGGING. Eventually, the lady will catch on, and she will find many interests in you. Don’t bring about someone’s past because you never know how sensitive that person really is. Don’t lie about yourself just to interest even more.

Etiquette: The number one impression that is an attraction to everyone is etiquette. I’m not going to give a whole lesson on etiquette as far as table manners, but for starters, do the basic following procedures during the date.

·      Make sure you open and hold the door for your date.

·      Study your table manners, and etiquette skills.

·      Make sure you show good body language.

·      Help her with her jacket.

·      Properly seat your date.

·      Use words like please, thank you, yes, and no

·      Don’t yawn with your mouth open.

·      Chew your food, don’t talk with food in your mouth, and don’t smack your food.

·      Keep your voice at a minimum, and don’t be loud.

·      Never lie about yourself(No lady likes or wants a liar)

·      Always carry a handkerchief around you at all times.

·      Help your date with her things(holding her bag, watching her stuff etc.)

·      Ask her how her food is, and maybe let her try some of your food.

·      Last but not least ALWAYS STAY ON TOP OF THE TIME.

If things ever go wrong, you should ALWAYS have a Plan B in mind. Even before planning this date, what are your options.

The Ending.

When the date is over, and all activities are done with, walk up with her to the door of her house. Don’t ask or invite yourself to come in her house unless she invites you in. Remember, the date may have been good, but she may still be unsure about letting you inside her house. After all, it’s only the first date and nothing is “official”. So in other words, don’t plan on making ANY type of move. A hug is great. However, she MIGHT go for a kiss on a the cheek and say “I had a lovely time”. Remember, this night is about her. You just remember that you have done your part all along and have played it well.  You want not only yourself to be satisfied but overall, you want “her” to be satisfied. Eventually, it may happen again. She might call you up sometime. Remember to not take anything fast. Take it all nice and slow. Eventually who knows. It may become official soon.

Final thought

Oh on another note men, you also want to check out a woman’s hand. The way I see it is if she has a ring of some sort on her ring finer(especially a diamond ring), do not push it. Remember a ring could symbolize commitment.

Stepping Out On Faith In A Relationship Part Three: Growing

When two people find true love, they grow together. Growing happens in many ways such as, growing their love for one another, growing their faith and commitment, or growing as a person. Growing helps the heart, mind, body, and soul. So now that you have read about commitment and submission, let’s talk about growing as a couple. A lot of us know that things will change in future times. Sometimes change can be a good thing, sometimes change can be a bad thing. Whatever happens in life, just know that there will be times you may just have to adjust what’s better for yourself, and the relationship. Always learn to accept change. But when you accept change, accept for the better, and not always the worst. If it’s under your control, make it for the better.

Growing through the hard times.

For most people, the hardest things in life will bring people closer together. What we need to realize is once we submit, God will twist and turn situations to increase our love, faith, and character. That’s part of what Faith is. When we use Faith on ourselves, God will use us in His power.  We just never know what could happen in life. That’s why it is always a positive thing to be there for one another, and your family. Sometimes we are placed in circumstances on how to fix and overcome battles, or they will teach us something so that we may learn from them. Often times we don’t want to think or go that route, but it’s something we all must face in life.

Growing in a relationship also means not letting the relationship to die out. When we commit ourselves to one another, it’s always our job to stay interested, stay faithful, stay connected, and enjoy the great things in life. Understand that a relationship is a blessing. Just like growing in Faith, you have to grow within the relationship. The more you grow, the stronger the relationship.

Some common things to grow within your relationship

Grow in Faith: As couples, take the time to pray for all things, and pray for each other. Pray for the goodness that you have been provided with. Know that everything will be alright if you trust and believe.

Grow in interest: Do things that will interest each other. Help each other out by venturing out of your comfort zones to find better things that interest you both. It’s never a bad thing to increase your interest level. It’s very pleasing to the eye when you’re enjoying something that your partner loves to enjoy. Seeing your partner happy should make YOU happy.

Grow in Increase of Activity: Through future times, couples will not always have the chance to do the same hobbies as they once did. Especially when married spouses have children, their freedom will be limited. Find at least one day out of the week, and use this time to spend quality time with each other. Block out all distractions such as work, stress, and call a baby sitter to watch the children. Do things like going out to eat, see a movie, a play, play sports, and all sorts of activities. Do things together that will make you both happy and that will keep you involved. Enjoy spending the time alone. 

Grow in Intimacy: For some couples, a lost of intimacy can change moods into a whole different direction. Intimacy isn’t always about sex, but yet it is so powerful it’s one thing you don’t want to lose in the relationship. Use your actions, and words to make your love ones feel sophisticated. Compliment each other, speak with a loving heart, show affection, and praise each other from time to time.

Grow in Character: Treating the one you love, should be an example of how you treat others. Remember that you want to grow not just in the relationship, but as a better person. Greet them, praise each other, and love that person as if you loved your own family, your partner’s family, and treat them the way you treat others.

Grow beyond the extra mile: Sometimes, hardships will be faced in a relationship. All you can do is push through and fight your way to work things out. Understand this, A relationship is a 50-50 rule; give and take. What you give, will sometimes determine what you receive. Cherish and be there for one another even when times get hard. If you can’t seem to work it out, it’s never a bad thing to ask for help.

Grow when you’re apart: When two people are apart, don’t be so desperate, needy, or clingy. Respect your partner’s space and independence from time to time. When you’re apart, grow within yourself, relax, replenish your inner system and mind. Use this time to focus on your behaviors, and figure what’s best to put in.  Allow new things to come, and let the old things go.

Grow socially: Like I said, get involved with many activities, but grow your circle of friends. Grow by establishing friendships, meet other people, and become socially involved with others. Grow your friendships, and last but not least, respect your partner’s friendships and family.

Like I said, there are many things that will help grow your relationship. You want to make sure you increasing your values, goals, and vision(s). If you’re the person who is afraid to step out and accept change, ask yourself these common questions.

What ways can I improve upon myself?

What ways can I improve within the relationship?

What can I do to help grow the relationship with my partner’s satisfaction?

What ways can I improve on that can improve other things around me?

Write out as many questions, answers, goals, and work your way slowly to build new things. Part of growing starts small, and then it will increase to both partner’s expectations. Always put in 110% in the relationship. The more you grow, the stronger the relationship.