Sexual Bullying and STDs

Living in a sexualized society as a college student, I think it’s critical to know our every little move, every word we speak, and everyone who is around us. When I have spoken to a lot of anonymous college students, one of the issues that they had always faced was getting an STD due to having unprotected sex.  As I sat down talking about it with other students, I told them that sometimes, it’s not always “your” fault.

            There are over 65 million Americans who have an STD. Statistics show that one in six people have it and also not even know about it. My deal with this issue is, how can we comfort them? How can we crack down on issues such as these?

It’s tough if you live with an STD, especially if there isn’t a cure. People will go through questions such as

            How will I tell my partner, parents, and friends?

            What will my friends think?

            Is it treatable, and how much will it have to cost anything if it is?

Another question that people ask themselves is, will these symptoms be a cause of death?

            Speaking for the college students I have talked to, it’s never easy to talk to someone about having an STD. Many people actually avoid it at all cost, go out and have sex, and THEN tell their partner “Oh I have an STD”. Where does that leave the person who didn’t have one before the session? Scared. Ashamed. Lied to. Betrayed. Slut. All of those words are now written on their faces.

            It goes back to schools that fail to teach the young adults about the true facts of sex education. Yes, we teach about puberty in elementary school. We also teach about STD, AIDS, and HIV in Middle and High School. But it’s the action in between that we fail to teach. For example, the psychological and physicality of a person. The dangers of rape, and the sexualized society of the real world. That’s where it fails. And with the many struggles teenagers and young adults go through, it’s very important to have conversations like those.

           

            Many of the students who I’ve spoken to are afraid to come out of their shell. It’s never easy, and the worst case of it all, is that now they are dealing with rumors and words that are cutting deep within them, in which they have to face. Those words and wounds will never heal until an action is to be taken place. We have to be aware of people living with an STD for the rest of their lives. Too many of us are quick to play the name game in judging others, that we’re also cutting their wounds deeper. We already know what bullying can do, but we also need to know what sexual bullying can do. If you know anyone that’s dealing with having an STD, let them know that they’re still apart of a beautiful world. Sometimes, they’re afraid to speak it up, so we should always be there for them in the hard times they are facing.

My Tips:

Before having sex, ask that person their background, or tell them that you’ve had unprotected sex with someone before YOU KNEW you were positive. Its not easy, but better safe than sorry. If they do react, understand that it’s out of your control. Don’t be surprised if you get rejected, but hope that whoever your partner is, you can work things out.

Being Rejected: That’s the biggest reason why victims never want to tell their families and friends. ALWAYS find someone you know who cares about you, to help you out. Never cheat your way out of love and support. Because, the more you run away from love and support, the more you would want it. People will always see you when you’re at your weakest, so it will always be best to open up when they are there to help

Know that you’ll never lose your job because you have AIDS, HIV, or an STD, however, LET YOUR SUPERVISOR KNOW. It is much easier for you to let him/her know, so that you can make doctor’s appointments and fulfill other health issues. Supervisors, keep it 100% confidential.

Always take care of yourself. Know what the STD is and how it’s treatable. Know the symptoms. Even if you don’t show any signs, always research everything and how you  can/can’t transmit it to another partner.

USE PROTECTION, REGARDLESS!! Always use protection. Even if you know you aren’t showing any signs or symptoms, you need to better protect yourself. Especially if it’s with someone you don’t know their history with. They may not tell you that they have an STD, but it’s great to be smart first.

Consult Third Party Options. If you know you’re facing a difficult situation, please contact a support group. If there isn’t any support groups, start one with other people who are living with the same problems. Please contact

Last but not least, enjoy life. Now that you have found out if you’re positive, don’t think that your sex life is over. Yes, you will deal with the fact that you have an STD, but the good thing about is now that you are positive, you’re beginning to find purpose. You feel happier because you have more freedom and less pressure of anxiety. Always think POSITIVE thoughts and NEVER worry about what others say. If you’re comfortable about life and happy that your whole world isn’t shattered, you’re moving in the right direction.

 If someone is suffering, be there for them. Never joke about STD. If so, you’ll never know if you will become the next victim.

Ronald Atkinson

Bosses, Snakes, and CEOs of Business

Sometimes, we all have a tendency to sit back, watch, and judge others as people walk by.  I know in most cases, it’s never our job to judge others and criticize for what they do. But what about judging others for who they are? Imagine you’re working for a company in which you have been employed for over six years. Everyone around you seems to like what you’ve done for the company, so the more you move up into a higher position, the more they would love to work for you. Now, say it’s been seven years, and you’re still working for the same boss who employed you seven years ago. He has never complimented on your hard work and effort, but he’s always complimented on other people’s work. Does it throw you off just a tad bit?

             Perhaps you’re thinking of new ways to expand business, or you’re asking for a raise, so you begin to set up an appointment to try to go into his office to make negotiations. Sooner or later, you’re standing right outside the CEO’s office trying to negotiate with him. You knock on his door, and your boss opens it up. But as soon as he opens the door, he pokes his head out and looks left, right, and then towards you, but not at you.  

            “What can I do?” he says, walking back to his desk. Noticed how he never greeted you? No welcome. No Smile. But let’s proceed.

            You sit down in the chair located at the front of his desk and begin discussing about what you’re willing to negotiate with him about. You’re hoping he will acknowledge what you’re speaking, but instead, he cuts you off and claims that now is not the right time. Now stop right there. You’re calm, and you’re sitting down watching his every move and realize that he doesn’t want to be bothered by your presence. Your boss is acting as if he’s in a hurry to do other things, but you know his schedule says “Office hours” at the time you’re meeting with him. He’s antsy. He’s too busy going through stacks of files and papers on the desk. So then you start to wonder about the scenario, his words and actions, and his eye contact. Notice when you’re speaking to him, he doesn’t return any full eye contact but only once or twice for three seconds? The boss looks down at his desk and then gives his full attention to his computer. Once again he says, “Can we schedule this some other time, I’m expecting someone.”.

            You look around and you notice that nobody is even sitting outside of his door, so you also begin to think, why not give at least five minutes of your time to converse with me until that person shows up? Silently you’re thinking. You didn’t want to argue, so you respect his offer and walked out of his office. Hmmm…Something didn’t seem too right about this situation.

            The point I’m trying to make is this. In the business world, whether you are working for someone or with someone, you should always watch how people act in your presence. You should always read someone for their character and who they are. Sometimes, they are snakes. A snake is someone who is too much of a coward to own up to your potential, as well as their own potential. They are there to see you fail. They love giving others who aren’t in need, great opportunities. Getting rid of the common good people and replacing them with someone who offers a joyous friendship that lack the skills needed. What you also have to realize is this. When a snake is placed in a position of power, the snake’s venom can spread like wildfire. The first bad thing that happens is like the teeth sinking in the flesh. Once the venom shoots out, it spreads, and then more and more bad things will happen inside the business. 

            When you’re working with someone who might be a snake, don’t just watch their actions or hear what they speak, but look deeply into their eyes. Like reptile snakes that like to move around, human snakes are also the same way. When you catch them in their comfort zone, they get antsy. Now watch their eye contact. If they can’t seem to make eye contact with you, they are never to be trusted. In the business world, if you’re willing to attract others around you and gain good partners with someone, ALWAYS make eye contact. You can tell a lot by someone who uses eye contact. If you’re engaging in them, but they don’t engage in return, something’s fishy.

@RonaldAtkinson9