Cheating

Cheaters happens to be one of my favorite reality prime shows. However, even though I watch it….It still sickens me to the fact that we live in a world where relationships not only lost its trust. But some people have lost their loyalty. The moment you are with your first love( IN MARRIAGE) you have committed yourself to be spending the rest of your life with the most beautiful person God created for you. The moment you place that ring on his/her finger should value the fact of Death Do Us part. Love is a beautiful thing, and we shouldn’t waste a beautiful thing. Some people get married just for the title of it, yet still doesn’t understand commitment. People often cheat for the wrong reason. “Oh she ain’t what she used to be. Oh he doesn’t give the attention I need at night”…SO WHAT!!!! Marriage is sacred. You grow old together in love and matrimony. Cheating is very deceitful and disrespectful. I often ask to folks “Why cheat? What’s the purpose?”. Some folks always say “Oh it wasn’t like I was having sex. It was just this and that”…. Cheating is cheating no matter what. If you’re even thinking about another person or flirting in different ways, it’s still considered cheating.  They say you can hide it but the truth will eventually come out. Sometimes people will take it to their grave. Other times some people will eventually realize what they did is wrong and eventually will come clean to the other person. Some people will give that person a second chance. Second chances are always good. It will test our knowledge and faith to see if everything is everything. But earning the loyalty and trust back will take longer than usual.  So my philosophy….don’t cheat. Whether it’s emotional cheating or physical cheating, nobody deserves to be cheated on. So ask yourself if you’re unhappy…. What are some ways you can grow a deeper connection with your loved one? How can you keep the momentum going throughout your relationship? What can you do to add, change, or take away in the relationship that will better into something new? Start thinking of ways you grow deeply each day. Everyday is something new that you can fall in love with. Also, know the difference between a phase and a relationship. Remember, if you have done something you regret, don’t let the guilt take over your mind. Let it out. And for some of you who have been through the painful process of cheating, learn to forgive and set yourself free.

@RonaldAtkinson9  

Surely, Goodness, and Mercy. :A new interpretation of Psalm 23.

So today I learned something new at church this morning. When we read the lines in verse 6 of 23rd Psalm "surely goodness and mercy [love] will follow", we can somewhat misinterpret that meaning. We may think that we are "SURE" that goodness and love will follow, but sometimes when we apply "Faith" daily, there are times we can get discourage and lose our faith. Whatever Trials or Tribulations you're going through, we worry. "WORRYING" is another way of saying "I don't trust God"....Now think about it. God has his mysterious way of working things. When we DO trust him, we are believing. We are SURE that things will work out because that is His WORD and FINAL WORD. Now back to the verse.... Think about goodness and mercy. Without goodness and mercy, SURELY has to come along to keep goodness, and love going. SURELY has to keep your Faith going. SURELY isn't just a word in that verse that says only love and goodness will continue to follow us, but it's an ACT Bound to stick with us. So Remember it like this.... Surely, Goodness, and Mercy Will follow. Stick to His word, Trust Him even in the hard times, and know that SURELY will continue to uplift you WITH Goodness and His Love. Even though it's a short blog, I still believe that it's powerful enough to understand and realign our Faith.

Is enough, enough?

Love will bring all types of emotions whether you’re in a relationship or not. Feelings will always come and go. Forever they will be drilled in us until the day we die. So here’s my relationship philosophy quote for the night…. “There will be times where you will fall in love with someone, and the more you're falling, the more it may hurt you in the end.”  Is this perhaps true? How much have you fell in love with someone that they kept hurting you? By hurting you, I mean not giving you the attention or affection.  The more you keep putting your 110% in making things work out and sometimes nothing ever gets returned.  So now the question is…”When is it time to move on?”. Do you listen to the voice of Faith and continue? Or are you sick and tired of trying? How deeply do you love that person? Is this person just a phase? How do you know if this someone is the one knowing you may have more relationships down the road? Have you ever actually been IN the relationship and still not getting the things you desire in return? How deeply did you have feelings for this person even though 2 years later, a new person in your life shows up? All of these questions kind of remains undetermined. So when is it time for you to move forward? Who can replace the old when you know the old was far more rewarding? Do you give up? Sometimes it takes a long time to truly get over someone. Sometimes you may have feelings for someone, and others will tear you down saying “No, it will never happen. Let him/her go.” Sometimes you can pray for a relationship, and God may say “wait”. But we may think the answer is a no, yet we can still piece together hints and clues leading up to the right time. Think of it like this, there’s a wall that stands two feet high. On the other side, your partner, crush, or someone. Sometimes it may feel that the more we climb up the wall to get over it, the bigger the wall gets. So again, is enough, enough? Do we give up or keep going. Sometimes there will be a crack in the wall, and as a hole gets larger, we can reach for that person. We’re so close that we think we may have them, but once again, you fall back and lose that person…..Just when you think you’re close, there’s always a setback . Sooooo….Do we continue to reach when the wall keeps building before our goal? Hmmm….Still remains a mystery. I don’t have any advice on this, nor is there right answers.  But these questions are up to you. You decide!!

@RonaldAtkinson9 

Where's The Loyalty: Being Truthful in a Relationship

A great relationship requires many things. But the one I want to talk about is “Loyalty”. What is Loyalty? What is Truth? Are we evaluating ourselves first before acquiring the relationship with our partner? In order to understand what the other person is, we have to truly fulfill our destiny and learn from our mistakes. We all are guilty of telling lies. But we can’t continue being dishonest with others. Later I will give my acronym of “RELATIONSHIP” That every couple should think through. But for now, sticking with Loyalty, I see a sense that there are those couples who lost their loyalty for each other. When the loyalty becomes lost for each other, the loyalty becomes lost in ourselves. Have you ever been through a good relationship and once a break-up occurs and it’s called off, you’re stuck with the question “What have I done wrong?”. There are numerous questions we are often left with besides “what have I done wrong?”. For instance, we are also left thinking if perhaps the stuff being said in the relationship itself were lies or dis-honest feelings. Be thoughtful in what you say and also be thoughtful of your actions. What we get caught up in is telling someone what THEY want to hear versus what they actually want to hear.

No matter how big or small the lie is, you should always tell the truth to your partner. Even if it’s something that they might get offended about, the truth is always better than a cover up. If you cover up one lie, you are now stuck with telling others lies to cover up that one. A lot of times, if you’re caught lying, the guilt and shame in your self will continue to grow and will haunt you. So with that said, be honest to yourself. It’s not just about saying and doing things what makes others happy, but that you’re able to carry out the right thing within you. If you’re loyal and true to yourself first, you are able to carry it with the next person around you. Tell the person how you feel and what you feel. If any situation or question comes up, be mindful on how to address it. If he/she doesn’t agree, don’t pressure it but accept it. Sometimes it may require a little push and shove if they’re too stubborn. The loyalty within the relationship begins with how we are loyal to ourselves. A Relationship is Family, and Loyalty must always be the number one rule in Family. Obey yourself and obey others.

@RonaldAtkinson9 

Rebounds After A Break-up: Smart questions for both men and women.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we have our reasons, but other times we hold our truths and reasons on the inside. First thing’s first, Men, when we see that girl we want, do we have a goal we’re trying to accomplish? I believe I had mentioned in a previous blog that we must set ourselves with a goal and plan to be with someone. Why are we not thinking on long-term affects? What will things be like 2 years from now? Incase you didn’t realize, females WILL see the long terms. They think they’re the right one, and the only one.  Don’t forget that!!!

The one thing that really concerns me about a relationship is when couples get out of a “Great” relationship and end up with someone else in a heartbeat. We all call them “Rebounds”  A rebound is someone who you date/go out with to keep yourself busy and you use him/her to keep your mind off your ex who you still have feelings for.

Dear Ladies, how exactly can we go from a great relationship, to a break-up, and then on to another relationship in less than a month? I have seen great relationships that had potential, and by potential I mean there was a great foundation and chemistry between the two partners. I also have witness and talked to ladies going through their grieving heartache process and say “Right now I don’t want to end up with anyone else, I want to focus on me, school, and other things in my future”.  Ladies, It’s great that you make the promise to yourself, but you have to realize that if you broke up with someone you have been with for at least a year plus, how exactly do you get over someone you had a lot of great memories with just that quick? Now I understand that we must quickly move on, but how quickly do we actually need to move on? Men this can also apply to you as well. But before I go on to another subject, I want to say that you have to fully allow yourself to heal completely. Sure there’s always someone who is willing to take your [ex] partner’s last place and fill in the gaps that he/she hasn’t done, but sometimes it may not always be what you think. Another point that ties in to this is applying meaningful words and actions. On the other hand, don’t say things you have said in a previous relationship and say it again in the next one.

 For example,

 “I am so happy to have you in my life, I couldn’t have been more thankful”

“You are the best person I can’t live without”

“You are beautiful and the only one with a key to my heart”

Stuff like that can make us [men or women] look bad on two different levels. Now I understand that perhaps you may have had a bad [previous] relationship, but realize that we’re all humans, we all make mistakes, and we’re all not the same people. I understand that if one chapter closes another one opens. But,  we have to think broadly of our decisions and the choices we make that betters’ ourselves, and environment.

I can tell you one thing….If you have ever been deeply in love with someone or in a relationship where it was close enough to become a marriage, and y’all two ever brake up, I can honestly say it takes a very long time to get over that person. Maybe that’s just me and everyone has a different way of looking at their situations. But as oppose to a break-up, if that person has done everything for you, willing to fix a lot, and keep the relationship going, there is absolutely no reason as to why you want to break-up. Don’t throw away a precious jewel.

Remember to set a goal, and determine your reasons for everything. When you heal, venture out, but remember every person you meet has and will impact your life in some sort of way.  Refer back to my old blog “Going Through A Break-Up”. And always remember that you should never rebound to another relationship just to get over the heartbreak. If someone does ever comes along and try to take his/her place, I would always give it some time. Keep him/her near and dear, but don’t act so quickly.  Now men, I know sometimes you want the girl you want, but PLEASE don’t lie to the girl and say stuff in the beginning and not show it. You should take all you can and raise the bar and standards up a few levels…I’ll talk about that on another blog. But in the mean time, continue to do great in all things, and think smart when it comes to relationship decisions.

Twitter: @RonaldAtkinson9