Everyone knows that before getting into a relationship,
looks come first. We “look” at the person we want based on “looks” of that
person. Whether it’s the beauty on the outside, the clothes, the body….There’s
always SOMETHING that triggers our mentality to be attracted to that person.
Usually it last up to a [short] period of time. It often goes that once we see
that person, we go talk to that person. That part I’m okay with because you
want to have established a little something with him/her like a conversation. But
the real question is, are you thinking beyond the realm of the situation? When
we look, we talk to others around us or we rush to talk to that person. The one
thing we forget to do is talk to ourselves. In others words, our minds may play
one role and say one thing, but our hearts is always saying another. We don’t
often think or talk about the long-term
status quo[ The future] because our main focus is the other person.
Some people know exactly when not to get into a relationship and when it may be
the right time. Usually it depends on if we are fully ready to be in one.
Looks and Beauty
Beauty is the eye of the beholder. What does beauty mean to
you? When we reflect beauty on another person, we look at the outside. Beauty
is beyond the physical features. Beauty is about that person as a whole. Not
what he/she can contribute to a relationship, but how she contributes
him/herself as a person. Don’t always set fourth a relationship just because a
person is physically attractive….Sometimes it may not be what you think. Are you looking at the outside? Are you only
analyzing from what you see when a person wears certain clothes? How can you
read somebody if you’re judging by their clothing and style?
Analyze and Reflect
The reason why most relationships fail is because we forget
about this category in which I am explaining. We need to analyze the situation,
ourselves, and the other person. We may
“date” that other person, but sometimes things don’t always appear to be as
time continues on due to the fact that things change constantly. In other
words, by dating you, are letting yourself and that other person getting to
know who you really are. Everyday there is always something new to analyze and
reflect upon each other.
First you have to analyze yourself and compare your flaws
and character. In other words, what are some changes you need to fix yourself?
Then analyze the goal you are trying to pursue with that person. Do you have
long-term or short-term goals? Ask yourself these questions below.
-How will
this person affect me positively and negatively?
-What are
the goals am I trying to pursue with this person?
-In what
ways do I know this person is right for me?
-Morals, Values, and Character: How
much will they play within the relationship? Will it create positive impacts or
negative impacts
- How will
this person accept my family and treat those around me?
Analyze what the family may think. How socially can he/she
be accepted and treated?
Those are the things we need to look at first before making
the move. I’m not saying that you should take all of the time in the world, but
at least take them into consideration.
Don’t just look at the beauty of what that person has on the
outside, instead, look at what that person is worth.
Arguments
Don’t just argue and waste your energy on the other person’s
flaws. Instead, fix what can be fixed. Talk to yourself at what you’re trying
to pursue. If you are in a long relationship or marriage, just reflect on
what’s given, and analyze for what you both have done for each other. One of
the biggest things is letting silly arguments become the bigger factor within a
relationship. If you let it grow, it will cause stress and tension between the
two. Know when to stop, know when to take it to a new point to fix things up.
Think about when you first got that person, there had to have been a goal or a
common factor of why you’re together. Always analyze your problems and reflect
what can be done better.
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