Sometimes the things you seek in a relationship are often
sought in the people you care for the least. What exactly does that truly mean?
In my opinion it means that we want certain aspects and values of a perfect
relationship, but we seek them in the people who doesn’t always cherish them. Or
perhaps, we push those who do cherish them to the side, but we’re not satisfied
with that person’s looks. How do I rephrase this on a short note? The way us
humans view love is like looking at a scale. We take the scale alone and
compare two things, Looks and Values. When we weight the scale, we first look and
think about the beauty, outer appearances, and higher status. We like to add
more on the looks with all of these wishes that will fulfill our “desires”. As
we have more weight on the “Physicality side”, the scale is unbalanced. At
first things may seem great in the beginning, but we get upset because the
relationship is uneven. It’s uneven because there are less values’ in the
relationship. Less values= less morals,
no goals, no compatibility, no passion, no loyalty, no niceness, no faith, and
many more things that define a person’s character and a relationship as a whole. So now what? We do things that are right, yet
we still look at our comfort zone.
Second Relationship:
Making Adjustments
Now we have to make changes in re-adjusting the scale (New
Relationship)… This is where we do more thinking but a slight less at analyzing
and calculating the math. We will add, take away, multiply, and divide things
that are right until we find a common balance. We say to ourselves “I want
someone who’s this and that”, and now we add more to values yet there is still
a slight more weight on looks. (In other words, we still more importantly care
about looks). This is sort of the second try in a new relationship. We’re smart
at fixing things and making our mistakes, but some things still may not add up.
In other words, look at the scale…. It’s balancing but it’s still not stable in
a rest position. That only shows that things are going okay, but it’s still
uneven. So let’s say the relationship didn’t work out and it’s back to the
drawing board.
Third Relationship: Thinking,
Analyzing, and Reflecting
Now we really have to think (This is where we make things a
lot harder than it is and give up on “Relationships”)…. If you’re thinking
correctly, take everything off the scale (Everything that your mind wishes in a
person), and start by balancing fifty-fifty beginning with “Values” and “Looks”
vice versa. Little by little, think and add more values in what YOU want to see
in another person. Forget what looks are because that comes second. Values are
important, and to make it equal understand that if you have a good balance of
values, then you can adjust to the looks on your own. Eventually it will all
add up to a stable, potential, and stronger relationship. Understand that yes
Beauty on the outside is what we perceive first, but if you begin with values,
the true beauty will eventually be shown.
That’s when you accept someone as a whole in true love. Because someone
has the looks, money, or status doesn’t mean they don’t have the values that
represent their character.
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