Love is a beautiful thing, and so are the people within the
relationship. But here is always my one issue…Getting extremely attached to
someone in the first phase. Now I understand that it’s okay to get attached to
someone when you first meet and fall in love, but this is more to the people
who perhaps have gotten a lack of attention in their past. Suppose you [ladies] have had many boyfriends
in your past time, and each one you had was never exactly how you thought it
was going to be. However, the stuff that you said to him was always the
same. In the beginning he’s the most
sweetest person you ever met. In the
beginning you started to believe his words in which they may have been lies [in
the future]. In the beginning you thought the relationship will go somewhere.
In the beginning you were showered by gifts, moving too fast, calling each
other names, and spent more time than you possibly could. But as things moved
forward, you started to ease your way from him. Missing him more and more on
lonely nights. Everything reminds you of him…. Now shifting from the typical
relationship phases and in comes the worst part of ourselves, CLINGYNESS and OBSESSION. Everything starts from that one person who was “nice” to
us, making that effort to talk to us without trying, and immediately pop goes
the relationship and feelings.
When I spend time talking to others about relationships, or
when I give advice, a lot of the times people would say the reason why they
always feel alone, and isolated from the world, and the people around them, is
because of lack attention. But when someone does get close around us, we
quickly jump on the obsession, clingy, and attachment boat, which may cause the
people around us to push us away. Where in result, we feel isolated and not
bother talking or hanging out with others. With that problem comes to the fact
of not having many friends, boyfriends, or girl friends around, so we don’t
bother “trying” to find other people to hang with, or talk to. Now for you ladies, one of the problems I
hear the most is perhaps the relationship goes along great, but you feel sad
whenever he leaves home, or hangs out with his other friends. Perhaps you also
get upset when you see or feel your man getting sick of your presence, doesn’t
bother keeping you first, or not getting intimate in bed. That’s where the
anxious and frustration part comes around because you’re not by his side, so
you feel isolated and left with a lot of emotion.
Attachment all depends on your past. It depends who gave you
the attention, or the lack of attention in which you try to seek now. My advice
to you is to not get so easily attached to others around you because it’s going
to leave you more hurt in the end, and much more of a psycho person with
emotional issues. If you are not easily attached, that’s great…. But put
yourself in those shoes… It’s bad and unhealthy if you really look at it. You
really have to broaden out your circle so that you get an even balance of love.
For those couples (or perhaps that one partner), I would recommend try to help
things out by being apart for a few days, and perhaps even go without talking
to each other. You really don’t have to see or depend on each other every
single day. Time apart in a relationship is always healthy. From time to time, allow that therapy to work
things together. Absence makes the heart
grow strong. Men, understand that
it’s great to shower her with gifts, but understand diamonds is not always a
key to every woman’s heart. Ladies, get your self to be independent. Spend time
with other friends, or get involved so you’re not always sad or thinking too
much on your partner. Understand that you have perhaps your entire life to see
each other, and to perhaps be with each other. Learn to adjust to many changes
in life. If you find yourself getting very attached in the beginning, it’s
going to leave you hurt in the end. Also, it’s important to understand what is
fantasy, and what is reality. What is Love, and what is not. What is real, and
what is fiction.
In Reference to this post, refer back to my previous blog : Dealing With Clingy Relationships
Twitter: @RonaldAtkinson9
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