The Phases of The Relationship Part Four: The Commitment Phase

You now have made it through the most roughest challenges of your relationship. You’ve started out being attached, then to the point where you seem to hate each other, and now you realize what the boundaries are in the stability phase. This phase is officially your “see it through” moment. Like the poem, you were up against some troubles in the previous stages, but now you realize once things were settled in the last phase, maybe this person IS your soul mate and best friend. Maybe you (Men) want to take things serious, and perhaps you women do as well but don’t really know until you’re fully surprised.  However, as a couple, this is the rebirth moment of the relationship. Everything you do now will bring you back to your roots as a couple. What you look back on will sometimes bring you back the words and memories on WHY you wanted to be with this person for so long. This is the phase where the “marriage” begins to rise. Men, say you want to propose to her…Do it. Now ladies, usually from my experiences you all like to take time to think because things move too fast, but it all works out well depending on how long the relationship lasts. Every couple is different, so that also means every period is different. This phase looks at the balances between the love you have, the freedom, and a way to stabilize conflicts to sort them out. You begin to love each other for the true reasons and not just for the “romantic” reasons of the attachment and honeymoon phase.  This phase is about “acceptance”, accepting your partner as they truly are and putting away the quirks that irritate you.

Independence: This one would be more beneficial in Part Three, but I wanted to go in depth. This is difficult for couples when trying to find their true selves again. Sometimes we get our “We” mixed up with our “Me”. We want to focus on what a couple should go through together but forget that each person is their own separate person regardless of how the relationship is. We always want to be “inclusive” for every little thing but forget about the interests(separately) which can sometimes lead to arguments. Now in the commitment phase, we have to fully be able to adapt to being independent with our own selves but still have the feeling of being connected and committed. If you are insecure about letting your partner be alone of his own time, then where exactly is the trust and faith?

Trust and Faith: Trust and Faith is key to being in a relationship especially if you’re going to commit. Trust and Faith should ALWAYS start at the very beginning of the Relationship(Phase One). Once you’re committed, your trust and faith should able to grow even more. Not only are you Trusting and being Faithful to yourself and partner, but now you have to look at it as a divine healing. How does it set you up to have Trust and Faith with outside people? What about future family plans? What about Submitting to God in case something ever goes wrong? We may have Trust and Faith for others, but once it turns back on us, we will have to use it for other sources.

Submission: My saying is this, If you commit, you must submit. Your relationship may go into shambles. But you’re confused in what to do, and how you’re going to get help. Without a spiritual being of your relationship, it will fall. Regardless of who you believe in, you should always pray that things will get better. This ties itself in Trust and Faith. Realize that suppose God blessed you with a perfect person, now you have to give back in someway. Keep in mind that this is the true beginning of your relationship, and in case things go down, look up for spiritual guidance along the way.

Families: Once you commit to your partner, you have committed yourself to the family of your partner. Realize that you set the prime example of being a role model for others, and perhaps future children. You have to respect him, her, and the family regardless of anything.

Growing: Take this phase as a “growing” phase. Everything you learned, or at least beginning to go in depth with your learning, is going to help you grow as a person, and grow your relationship. As you begin your journey to being with the love of your life, this will mean to grow into someone better. This is where growing begins to fully develop with more growing to go in the long run.

Know that this is the planning stage of your future together. This is where you begin to think about marriage, and acknowledge to yourself and to the world that you two are permanent. Accepting each other for who they are, and knowing to be a new [positive] person will bound you for a successful relationship. Understand that it doesn’t stop here, but it grows here. From phase one, this should be your goal to think about when asking that special someone. From this phase, your goals should be about lifelong commitments, ways of continuing the relationship making it successful, and a journey to Phase five. This phase is not only your commitment, but it’s also your vision and revolution. You have come so far in the relationship, that you have a great journey ahead. Keep in mind, there may be a few surprises along the way. Don’t give up, Don’t stop, continue persevering. You are encourage not just by yourself, but by those around you.