This specific topic in which I’m about to write is one of
the few things that has been heavy on my heart. We all sit down only to figure
out what our purpose in life is, and who is truly in our lives. Those who truly
care, and those who truly love you even when they accept the advice, gifts, and
other things that you have to offer. I can tell you that I know there are times
I may not appear to be a good friend, and with that I feel like sometimes I
have failed many. To be honest 2013-2014 as been a year of ups and downs when
it came Friendships, and with that I’ve slowly had to think about the value of
friendship. A true friendship is like family. If a friend is ever in the need
of help, then help and assist them. As a Christian, we are brothers and sisters
in Christ. We are also told to love, help, and pray for our neighbors and
enemies even when they least deserve it. Many of my friends realize that it’s
something I truly care about, especially when working on building it up.
Whether you’re my friend from my hometown, school, fraternity brother, line
brother, someone, I invest and value you very well. One day I sat down watching television and suddenly
turned to Bishop T.D. Jakes speaking on this subject. He describes the types of
friends we will all come in contact in which I think it’s necessary that we
should all read. In life you will have three types of friends-Confidants,
Constituents, and Comrades.
Confidants-
They’re very few of them. Those people who are in your life love you
unconditionally. Whether you are up, down, right, or wrong, they are into you.
They are there where you can share anything with them. A confidant is your
David to your Jonathan. A Confidant is the key to your kingdom in which they
mentor you and you mentor them through the power of God. Those are the few in your life that will be
with you, for you, and will forever be in your life so that you will reach your
destiny. You are a blessed person if you have at least 2 or 3 of those selected
people in your life. These are the people who will be forever in your business
but will NOT betray your word. These friends will not harm you, disrespect you,
or let anyone else do you the same. They may be arguing with you, yet you will
come in agreement. They will not talk behind your back in a negative way or in
your face.
Constituents-
This right here is perhaps the one where we all seem to fail with friendship
the most. These are the people who are with you, and stand with you because
they only are there for what you are for. Throughout your life, if you’re ever broken,
you may mistake your constituents for your confidants, and you will think that
they are for you when in reality they’re not for you, they are just for what
you are for. Once they leave you to someone else, they will truly break your
heart. The only reason why they leave you is because they will truly see
someone else better than you are (With or without Fame, Money, and Wealth) who
will extend to what they have to do in life. This is the one category where we
will have many of those but fail to realize their character, and how they
really perceive you.
Comrades- These
people are not for you, or for what you are for, but they are the people who
are against of what you’re against. These people will team up with you to fight
the battle until the mission is complete, and the victory is accomplished. It’s
just like two soldiers who aren’t friends, go after the enemy, but one decides
to leave after the mission is accomplished. It’s like they are there but just
not 100%.
In your life, expect your constituents and comrades to leave
you. Don’t be ashamed or upset if those people don’t react to your dream the
way you expected them to do because they weren’t for you in the first place.
Neither folks in both of the last two categories will support what you do, and
how you’re doing something. Even though we are blind to see who falls into the
constituents category vs. the confidant category, you have to focus not only on
their character, but actions and words. Who exactly loves you unconditionally
even to the point that they are always there for you? Your confidants. Your
confidants are a select few(and sometimes more) in which no matter what happens
in life, they will never desert you. Confidants will weep when you weep, and
rejoice when you rejoice. A confidant is someone who is happy for you when you
share your life. Those are the people who are connected with you through the
heart and physical world. Constituents and Comrades can be considered “The
Haters”. You don’t want your haters to pray for you because secretly they do
not want to see you doing better than them. You want someone who will pray for
you that really wants to see you be Blessed in life. Focus on who God has
placed in your life. Forget who he took away from your life, focus on those who
will be in your life as a blessing.
It really opened my eyes after hearing this. Life is very
short and it’s the reason why now I’m working on re-building, reconnecting, and
making bonds stronger than ever. Although I may feel like I have failed, the
key thing that I realize is that I’m trying. Even though many don’t see it, I’m
doing it. No matter who I meet in life, I always make sure that I pray for
them, love them, and accept them for who they are. All I want is to see you succeed in what’s
best for you so that someday you will have the opportunity to become the next big
shot. Nowadays we see so much hate with not only just friends, but family.
We’re all different, but Christ also said love everyone even your enemies. I
always tell people that God will place the right ones in your life and take
away the wrong ones. But no matter what you do to stand your ground, ALWAYS,
ALWAYS, ALWAYS, LOVE THEM, PRAY FOR THEM, SUPPORT THEM, AND NEGLECT THEM FOR
GOOD. If it happens to one, it may happen back at you. So know the three C’s,
but strive to be within that first category.
Be a
listener when others are speaking.
Be
accepting when others are giving.
Be
forgiving when others persecute you.
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